The Great Humor Friendly Spam Is Translate!

I'm having far too much fun reading my spam box via Google Translate. If you haven't tried this game (which I'm called "The Great Humor Friendly Spam Is Translate!"), then you really need to give it a shot. In Gmail, click on your spam folder and then click on any message whose subject is in another language. At the top of the message, you should see a "Translate" link above the body. Click the translate link and read until you stop being able to breathe.

For example, here are some gems from my inbox:

From the Chinese:

why sales staff who are always working attitude, do not want more input?

From a Russian message describing the generic plot of all disaster movies:

It all begins with small problems, then all these problems
noticeable on the Congress is going to scientists and government
and concludes that the planet Earth (town, country, continent)
remain there for long, and starts fighting with the elements
successful or not.

From a Japanese site that appears to be offering dating and/or romantic advice:

I send this email to members of the audience to applicants capped.
Cross your fingers unsubscribe, thank you from the URL at the end

A Spanish ad for spam-based marketing suggests this nugget of wisdom:

GHOSTS ARE NOT ALWAYS GIVE YOU SUPPORT

This came as a shock to me, but I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea that I need to approach the living for my tech support needs.